Mi Vida de Hormiga

Querida Familia,

It was a very sad feeling to leave my family, my home, my friends and my lover on Christmas night and watch the ground become flatter and smaller and the lights amass into general, segregated squares of occupancy. There was the airport. Venice Marina Del Rey. There was downtown. There was the Santa Monica Pier. Malibu. San Fernando Valley. San Gabriel Mountains. And there was the Inland Empire, where, by the time I was in the air, you were all arriving close within that area.

La tierra se apareció muy pequeño. Y si estaba cierto finalmente que nuestro mundo si esta pequeño. En el cielo, en el vuelo, la verdad es revelada: nosotros y nuestras vidas somos objetivamente minúsculos. Y como puede ser que mi tristeza se siente tan grande, tan real, tan enorme, tan fuerte cuando todo mi mundo esta tan pequeño? Como puedo llorar por mi vida de hormiga?

Es porque también las hormigas sienten grande en su experiencia. En la perspectiva de la hormiga, la vida es grande, realmente. Porque quien puede decir que algo es grande o pequeño objetivamente? Lo que es grande y lo que es chico depende de la perspectiva.

From the air, it became clear that the human world is tiny. But as I looked down at my ant world, it was true that there was nothing more that I wanted in that moment, on that plane, with a God’s-eye-view, than to be an ant again. The divine is not in the clouds. The divine is on the ground, on the Earth, in my eyes, in my body, in my world and in my perspective. El Divino es mi familia y mi casa. El Divino eres tu y yo.

I watched the plane fly over California for a long time and I saw Los Angeles disappear. And I thought about how everything I loved was so small down there. So tiny. I looked at where la familia Moctezuma probably was. And I thought how graceful it is to make things so small become so beautiful. And I didn’t like being disconnected and seeing the objectivity of our smallness. I wanted to be back down and experience everything as big again. And I thought about the laugh and the kisses and the hugs and the food. So I thought about how small those events were from up where I was.

But more importantly, I also remembered how enormous it feels when I am down there.

Mi familia y su amor es enorme.

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